My Dreams for 2016

   

     On this road to recovery, I remember reading somewhere that sustaining a great trauma can force a premature spiritual awakening that would have taken decades to reach otherwise. Since facing crippling physical and emotional obstacles over these past few years, the scope of my worldview and empathy has shifted to something outside myself. Finally, I can see the suffering that lies underneath the various faces I greet day after day, the loss, the pain, the tough choices. I was never able to see it before. Once I had risen from my psychic prison, having won the battle against the voice that whispered, "You will never know happiness or love again," I began to catch glimpses of the battles that people all around me are fighting day after day. I see how they keep showing up, and how they sometimes give up temporarily, but eventually they come back to continue their fight.
   
     I hate the reality that loss and change are part of this human existence. I hate letting go. I hate moving on. I'm a nostalgic person and I want to treasure everything and everyone that crosses my path, even when they turn out to be incompatible with my sanity or spiritual growth. That being said, there are so many things right now that need changing. Things can not stay as they are.

     I believe if the humans in this world could take a minute and think long term, so many things will start to fall into place. I read about how we could change the infrastructure of the global energy system and start solving HUGE problems like global warming, which is obviously going to start taking out the struggling and impoverished first, but will eventually come to effect everyone on this planet, either through available land or food scarcity, yet here we are, supporting someone like Donald Trump, who is so focused on building a wall, which will not really do a damned thing to end any sort of suffering.

     I'm scared, because I know these are types of things that can not be accomplished alone, yet we're too busy bickering amongst ourselves about whether we should we fear more, Mexicans or transgendered Americans? Maybe violence would decrease if we could create a sustainable energy infrastructure capable of providing food for those that are currently stealing it. Maybe if we pay attention to how many industries are not acting as good stewards to the planet, we could start making a dent in how much damage we are causing.

     I'm of the belief that by slowing changing our minds, one by one, we will start to manifest the types of healing changes that are needed to create a sustainable, peaceful, human race, but until we can band together and start electing people that reflect these priorities, I fear we will be seeing a lot more hate and trauma as we target Muslims, transgendered people, Mexicans as scapegoats for our fears. Every time I read a hateful, dehumanizing comment, I am taken back to the depths of my trauma, where I no longer felt human, no longer connected to this race of people, complete in my isolation with nothing but my telephone and Facebook to keep me in touch with the spiritual threads that bind us all.

     I used to feel alone in this pain, but now I see how many of you are suffering right there with me, and how many have suffered and survived to become the beautiful, empathetic people you are today. Keep hanging on. Keep dreaming. I know you all are out there, and I'm beginning to feel strong enough to come seek you. I want to share ideas. I want to listen to your dreams. I want to change the world.